I’ve been looking into the space created when a young person is hurting, and our response; where empathy and stillness reside. An unlikely example of this space comes from a sitcom in American television history.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air aired from 1990-96 and featured the actor/rapper Will Smith as a troubled teen from Philadelphia who moves to a wealthy setting of Bel-Air, California to live with hisAunt Viv and Uncle Phil.

 (Just a disclaimer, this show was nearly 30 years before Will Smith’s now infamous lapse of judgment at the Oscars in 2022.)  

 One particular episode in season four shows Will’s absent father coming back on the scene and promising to take him on a summer trip. His father ends up backing out of this plan as Will, in anticipation, is packed and ready to go. Uncle Phil is there in the living room when Will finds out.

 The space created can be noticed in what happens next. Will clammers for resolve, pulls up on his collar and tries to shrug it off in macho platitudes. Then, his words turn inward while making proclamations of the kind of father he hopes to be, yelling defiantly, “there ain’t a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!”

Uncle Phil’s response in this scene is unfailing, as he focuses on Will and simply listens. At one point, he tries to placate Will’s hurt and wisely turns back to being present. The scene ends with Will breaking down and falling into Uncle Phil’s arms, exclaiming, “How come he don’t want me man?”

Uncle Phil’s response in this scene is unfailing, as he focuses on Will and simply listens.

There is power in that space when a young person relies on someone to manage overwhelming emotions stemming from rejection and shame. And when presented with the mighty grip of a traumatic experience, each of us can benefit from tuning in and channeling the likes of Uncle Phil.